Never Give Up,Never Back Down (Part 1)

Life is a Beautiful Thing Some people Say,Life is Hard others Scream!,well who am I to shove one's view of life down the drain, when its quite obvious every one experiences life in a whole new different way, to one life is filled with a whole lot of goodies,while to the other life is wicked,biased and not worth living.

Few weeks ago a Man Jumped from the 8th floor of the Federal Secretariat Building in Port Harcourt,Rivers State,Nigeria and Died, suicide we all may call it, though the cause of his action is yet to be ascertained. When I got wind of this unusual event, in shock I asked myself why will someone who is not disabled,someone who is healthy decide to end his life in such manner. In sorrow I could hear a voice ask me "Victor Can You Do This?"..and in a quick rush I answered "Hell No! I can't"

I decided to write my Never Give Up,Never Back Down post to save the next person who is thinking of committing suicide,or thinking of giving up. www.freedictionary.com defines giving up as an act of admitting defeat, yielding, surrendering and relinquishing

Why do we give up?,why do we back down?. From life's stories told,movies seen I have come to understand that people give up for different reasons, a quick question tho,before giving up did you ask yourself "is this the best option for me right now, did I give this my all?..well, I'll leave you to answer that.

Here's my story

I was in a terrible situation some years back,where all hope was lost, having gained admission into a higher institution after years of JAMBing n POST UMEing, started school only to be told I couldn't continue because I was deficient in English Language, I was stunned,shocked,battered,confused,frustrated in a nutshell i was Dead Literally. I remember going to see my HOD one early morning, explained to him what I was going through with hope he was going to heed to my cry and extend my result presentation by a year and sign to that effect to enable me continue with my studies,but I got a  shocking reply from him, he was like "Son your are still very young, go and write another jamb and waec and comeback next year" I was astonished at his response, I went home that morning confused, angry at life and in total sadness. I woke up the next morning telling myself I will never write Jamb exam again because I saw myself as a failure, I neva knew that was the worst thing I was doing "seeing myself as a failure", I gave up. I drew a line, "University Education" wasn't my thing. Now the Big Bang!, I got a Call from my Big Sister Chioma Juliet (pinky) one morning and I told her what I have decided to do,she wasn't happy with my decision,she spoke to me for a while listing why I needed a University Education and all that,that I should give it one more try,I gave her a cold answer,told her I was going to try again,and that was it. Few weeks after her call I came across a Motivational Zig Zigler Book, which I read and discovered calling myself a failure n giving up was the wrongest of all things to do, I got to understand that Failure aint a person, failure is a step to achieving that which I desire, to that effect I decided to pick up my shattered pieces and try again,I decided to never say never, I called my Big Sis and told her I was willing to try again,she was happy at my decision, I got a Jamb n WASSCE form, went for my exams,wrote it amidst fears. Well to cut the long story short, I wrote my exams and came out successful, out of over five thousand intending students who sat for Computer Science Department Post UME exams for my school,I was the 8th person on the merit Admission List. I was speechless, I remembered purchasing my Form on the Final day of the form sales,I was successful and I was happy.

From my story I almost backed down, gave up and threw in the towel, which would have been to my own detriment but for the timely effort of My Family, Ziglar's book, Friends and my openness to advice. I wasn't perfect but I knew I could make it, I surrounded myself with the right people who didn't believe in backing down, and it paid off.

My Dearest Friend(s) Reading this, my story may not be catchy to you but I expect it to give u a rethink about life, you can't be successful if you fall and never stand up,you can't make it if you don't try, you can't win the race if you aint in the race,never back down,never give up, the right time to stop trying is never, life is about running after your dream and never backing down or giving up,

To My Male Friends - a man should never back down, a man should stand up to his beliefs or shut up, I believe in falling and rising up again and not giving up

To the the ladies - Be that strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst, be that fearless girl, the one who would dare to do anything, be that independent girl who didn't need to rely on anyone but herself to make it, be that girl who never backed down,that girl who never gave up.

A Big thanks to Pinky (Chioma) My Family,Chris,Obie Onugha, Natasha, Zig Ziglar and all others who were part of my success Story

NEVER GIVE UP,NEVER BACK DOWN (To Be Continued)

Ladies, Make A Man Fall In Love With You,Zero Stress Involved

If you've been struggling to get the man you're with to fully BE in the relationship with you - to commit his heart and his mind to you - to fall "IN love" with you and not just "love you," then you know men don't "work" the same way you women do.

You know there's got to be some way to make this kind of love happen for you, but you just haven't found it yet.

And you know for sure that what you've been doing - in fact, what you've always done (and most all of u women have always done) - doesn't work.

If you're feeling stuck like this, you're not alone.

Ma ''***''' was there most of her life.

She'd get involved with one man way too quickly, give him her whole heart - even if he said he wasn't ready for a relationship or wasn't in love with her - and then break her own heart.

While I was Interviewing Her, She found herself going back over the whole history of Her love life. Old feelings came back to her, and memories She didn't know She had.

Along with the horrible memories of Imaginary Relationships there were memories of some men who'd loved Her, but who she hadn't loved. There were memories of a man She thought she'd lost because of the mistakes She was making, but in the memory, just being with him feels bad.

She is so glad she took a moment to look back at this, because it really comes down to what She teach - that you can use everything that's ever happened to you to QUICKLY get the man and the relationship you really want.

It's as though everything else was a warm-up to her husband.

She realize now how scared She was of the "Real Thing." And how long She pushed it away.

If you're like She was, you think that being "cool" and "helpful" and "nice" and even "understanding" is the way to a man's heart. And, If you're like she was, and so many of her clients are, you've worked hard to ACT "cool" and "helpful" and "nice" and "understanding" - and even "sexy," and just been shocked when, not only does that NOT make your man come closer - it seems to create even MORE distance between you.

And then - you get angry. Angry and resentful and tense.

And we all know what happens then.

You start to feel totally unappreciated, and U tell him so. U as a Lady start asking for the "basics" that U should always be getting from a man - affection, attention, great sex, fun, and U start feeling hurt and telling him he's hurting u. Every time u just try to "express" urself and tell him what's wrong in the relationship and how it could be so much better - an argument starts. Pretty soon every conversation ends in angry words, and pretty soon conversation stops - because no one wants to fight, and yet - there's a fight about everything.

Sometimes U get so frustrated U want to leave, but most of the time U get so frustrated U just want to shake him. When this goes on for awhile, U can get discouraged. U decide to work even harder at the relationship, and then what happens?

It all gets worse.

Or U give up.

Well, I won't let you give up. And you don't have to.

There's a way to undo all the damage that's happened and a way to make sure the painful patterns of anger and frustration never even get started.

If you want to take the next step in understanding how to avoid all of these traps, find your inner confidence and either set the relationship you have right again or start off a new relationship in a foolproof new way.

Most of u think a relationship is about emotions, and you're right about that - but u usually end up focusing on the WRONG emotions - his. So many of u get caught up in trying to make something happen on HIS END of the relationship - and that's when u lose everything.

The moment u start trying to manipulate him, or use strategy or play games to "get" him, or cover over your real self in order to "please" him, u kill the love that's already there, and cut yourself off from love in the future.

The moment u focus on HIM, instead of on yourself, u lose ground.

But doing the opposite seems impossible. It seems hard. It seems way too scary - like letting go of the wheel of a car, or letting go of the rails when you're up high or moving fast. And sometimes it feels impossible because u've never ever seen any other woman DO IT - and u have no clues about how to do it for yourself.

So, how does a man fall in love?

And what does he love about you?

Well, first of all, if he's dating you, he's interested in you. So many of u Ladies feel so bad about yourselves u feel honored just to be asked out - and that's not the way it is. He's asking you out because he's attracted to you, he's interested in you, and he wants to spend time with you.

But here's a good question - does he have a checklist of his own for falling in love?

You know - the woman he falls for has to look a certain way, act a certain way, do certain things, have a certain background or certain skills?

And the answer is - sure he has a checklist - going in. That means, he thinks he has a "type" and he thinks he knows what he wants. But all that goes out the window when he sees you.

Attraction has nothing to do with a checklist.

And I'm not talking about sexual attraction (which is something most men can feel for almost any woman). I'm talking about EMOTIONAL attraction.

Emotional Attraction, for a man, can happen instantly. And that's what you want to invite him to do - be instantly emotionally attracted to you.

And that attraction will only GROW with time, as you allow him to see more and more of you by expressing your feelings in a way he can truly, deeply connect with, and let yourself be vulnerable in his presence.

The one thing I'd never do, and the thing that absolutely stops emotional attraction cold and starts resentment and fighting is PRETENDING.

And most of u are so afraid of "rocking the boat" or "looking bad" or "being weak" that u pretend to be strong and end up closing yourself off from your man.

And instead of your feelings coming out all soft and true and clear and authentic and emotionally appealing - they way they REALLY ARE - they come out all spiky and angry and forward leaning. They come out as complaining and demanding and attacking.

And if u DON'T let them out that way, then u hold them in so long u either explode one day and destroy everything, or u get sick inside.

I don't want you to have to go through any of that.

I want you to know what i learnt 4rm my ***. How to let your feelings out without pushing a man away. How to use everything you've ever experienced, even the painful things, to bring him close. How to just BE with a man so he'll feel helplessly, deeply, emotionally attracted to you, fall for you, and work hard to keep YOU.

That's the way it happens for a man, and it's my mission to help you have that experience, right now.

The thing is, if you THINK you're expressing yourself now, but he isn't falling, chances are you're doing it the old way - the way that doesn't work. If you're feeling angry and resentful and thinking it's HIS FAULT, then chances are that the way you're looking at this is a big part of the problem. It's likely that the way you're looking at it is actually both CAUSING you to be upset, and causing HIM to upset you in the first place.

If you're tired of doing things the same way and getting the same results, then you may be ready to take a new step in a different direction.

Instead of going down the road that leads to the same old places and same old romance dead- ends, you can undo the damage and quickly learn to do what actually WORKS so a man won't be able to help himself - he'll just fall in love with you.

You can change your love life from a string of Imaginary, painful relationships into the one relationship you really want. The one that will last you your whole life long......